I woke up to screams. Hearing it all around me. Lost in another dream most likely. Can’t move and someone is watching. In this darkness all I see are two eyes shining. This fear has gripped me and I can’t breathe. Passed out before I could see the ghost. Woke up thinking I owned a Rolls Royce ghost. Now I am getting cocky with this show. They don’t understand I ain’t here to be blown. These chains aren’t keeping me here for some hoe. Death is on its way and I’ve gotta go. My flow she hates my throne she is hoping to own. I’ve gotta go. But my body is bloodied from head to toe. Even if I escape this cage where will I go. She has predators in every corner. Waiting to get a taste of me. Wanting to pleasure me then eventually kill me. It’s a very pleasant theme. But I ain’t scared or maybe I should be. Still here locked up wishing someone could save me.
Got my enemies close to me. So they can be tormented by my show. Fans with their hands high jumping as I blow this smoke. Got a Lamborghini but not for show. Ferrari looking like a blood hound on the loose. Jewelry on me make sure you take a picture of me young bro. Shining as I am lighting this place up for free. Bring your friends don’t disconnect from me. I have more on the way just wait you’ll see. Whoever dislikes this then they can fly free. Pull up and release the magazine. I am sorry I thought you were offended by me. So I gave you something to think on as you sleep. But the rest of you don’t sleep on me. Not yet not when we go all night. The stars shine bright damn I want to shine. Damn I have nothing to lose. Still young. Still sprung from this ecstasy. Smoking weed until I am babbling on and on. She brings down her thong. I am like oh wow throwing paper on her because she is so wrong. I can tell you I was brought up to be nice. Looking for change because I hate being soft and right. Parents rolled the dice and got the perfect score. Told me to behave and I did until I got high. Lost control but at same time got creative with my rhymes.
When you took that drink. When you took that pill did you think of me. Hoping to be in my arms because you are afraid of who you be. No girlfriend still a virgin acting socially awkward around strangers. You get depressed and want to sit and weep. Hoping these drugs will get you on your feet. But it’s all a lie. I shouldn’t have been so blind. So many hurt because of my lies. But she whispers in my ears telling me she can fix me. Touches me places but it’s only in my dreams. Pours me shots after shots. She likes to hear me sing. So I gave her my heart to keep. I love it baby. You make me go crazy. It doesn’t matter what others think. Eventually I’ll be forgotten. But that’s not what I want. I need them to hear me. Get them to enjoy my story. Because eventually I will be no more. Don’t want to stop when I’ve got more. I want myself to be adored. Nothing coming out of me can make them bored. I am alone baby so take my heart I don’t need it for this show.
These dreams are killing me. Tearing me up as I run for her. Baby why must I be so weak. Saw the light you bring. But my darkness gets so frustrating. Keeping me from being me. Trying to speak wanting you in my reality. But I’ve been alone never shined brilliantly. Unsuccessful and not so sexy. While you kick ass and walk around famously. Can I ever hold your hand when they say your out of my league. Hearing them speak like it’s the queue to leave. But I don’t want to hold some other lady. I love you and here I am still wanting you. But what am I but a coward sitting here trying to see the clue. Figuring out how I can be me and get through without feeling incomplete. I walk down this road with goals to complete. Praying some beauty seeks my voice and me.
There are a few fans and a few foes. Nothing you say or do will have me change course. Funny how they get jealous and hate the work. Seeing me on social media more often that it doesn’t seem normal. But listen I changed a while ago. You weren’t part of the process so please see yourself out the door. Don’t make me regret my decision to throw you out I don’t want to quarrel. I know I was depressed and kept low. But I am so freaking done with you now. I’ll scream until you all are annoyed to the point you want to move on. I am used to being alone. Let them judge I am bored and need this anger out on a foe. They like to talk more and more as they see others grow. But I forgot your name. Chances are I don’t care and it’s a shame you had to hear those words.
Damn it’s cold without her. I wasn’t sure I would freeze over. But our love began to fall apart and I had no cure. If you ever see her. If you ever meet her. Tell her that I need her. Tell her I miss her. I don’t want to be a bird that flies all over. I want us to stay as one. This flower no other person will pluck. It’s yours and I just want to watch it grow. The Beauty it holds I won’t let anyone touch. It’s the color of love and it reminds me of you. Won’t move it as it’s my very own luck. Damn how far do I have to walk before my time comes. I want you to hear my flow. This slow song that comes from my soul. No other person can sing like me. I want myself to be authentic and creative with it as I go. Believe it or not but I am done sitting here below. I want the world to hear as I reach for the throne. So she can admire my story and make me her own. So I know I have some purpose in this world.
She came to the party late. I didn’t expect to see her but there she is. Talking and drinking, beautiful, and extraordinary in her own way. I just look at her hoping she comes my way. To dumb to speak. To big of a fool that I am a prisoner of my own cage. She looks my way. That big smile that makes me go crazy. I blush as I wave. Smiling back while thinking to myself I must look stupid. My conscious will be the death of me but I’ve been struck by Cupid. I hope I do nothing foolish. I walk towards her and as I come close. She looks excited and I can smell the perfume. Her make up and clothes are second as her physical appearance takes first place. I don’t want her to go. But I would hate it if I ruined her day. Her man holding this party must be on his way. But I do want to kick him in the face. Beat him up in front of her and tell her to stay. Have a nice conversation that goes my way. But I am still a child dreaming instead of facing my demons and mistakes.