It’s difficult to explain. It’s difficult to say. How I became this man. How I failed to hold her hand. How these drugs began to play. The tune sexier then anything I’ve ever known. I want my voice to make her dance. She drips uncontrollably without me laying a hand. This has just began. I’m running until I can’t. Reaching until I fall. I want you for the day. Tomorrow someone else like the day has changed.
I need a girl in my life. Someone who helps me shine. Someone who dims the light. Darkness has nothing against mine. Drugs can’t bring her kind of high. Don’t even need drugs in my life. Dance with her all night. Chase my dream with her by my side. internationally known as the devil that is so unkind. She gets all kinds of nicknames. I love to call her Cupcakes. She gets mad and slaps me in the face. Memories I want while kissing her face. I want us and only us. I see you and I when the story is done.
She turned around and gave me a smile
I swear I see it only once in a while
She was violet
She was strong yet silent
I was deranged but quiet
I know we wanted each other
But our lives weren’t eager
These drugs could set me in a coffin
I am not ready for a beloved
Not when I am forgotten
A unimportant piece in society
Hey I see you sitting there. So damn bright without a spotlight. What are you thinking I want to know. Where are you going when the story is blown. Itty bitty pieces around my depressing soul. I hear voices telling me to overdose. I hear myself wanting to be alone. But I want to be just like you. Shining not running beautiful but hiding behind the blue. Will they love me if I choose to be you. Will I be struck down before I get close to you. So many questions none answered like do you love me to. Life is depressing when I don’t have her close. Holding her warm body and never letting go. Just like this dream I can’t let go. She is my star. Better then everything I’ve ever known. I’ll fight on until I have her close. I’ll crawl if my legs are cut off. Just hold on the pain subsides when we have reason to fight.
Baby I loved you so good. How could I have treated you like any other. When you were sexy and smart. Got a masters but also works at a strip club. Making money now that’s love. Not giving a fuck about some other stud. You had my heart you had my unconditional love. I fell in love when you drank all of the cum. You went again. First round was a warmup. I was wrong to give you my love ma. I went out and you would find someone else to suck on. Baby only I can do you right. Don’t tell me he did you right. Don’t say you fell in love. Or I need you out of my life.
I fell in love with you in my mind. But couldn’t tell you when I looked upon your eyes. I love the elegant shape the gorgeous smile. But back home back home I’ve lost my smile. Drugs I take don’t last a while. Being sober is sickening and I am crying for a while. Need it I want it without it I am drowning. I want to kiss you and hold you beside me. Just say you love me oh just say you love. Even if you leave me tomorrow. Just don’t blame yourself baby. I would do the same. I wouldn’t stay not when drugs have been carrying me away. Not when I’ve been alone, high off this smoke. Crashing while walking tipsy as fuck. Give me everything you got I want to feel numb as I fuck. Please I’ll buy everything you got. I want my brain being lit. hallucinating while I am alone in my crib.
You are making me cry. You are hideous and a lie. But I can’t get you out of my head. What do I do when I am not the same. Who do I love that can understand my pain. Been alone living life like a game. Mom says come talk to me I am afraid. But I just walk to my room and work on escaping this look I’ve made. Hideous, unattractive, paranoid, they tell me to relax young boy. This life has more to come but I am already coiled up like a snake.